Complicating (Preston's Mill Book 3) Page 10

  She still wanted him too, but she knew what was for the best.

  And giving Carter her heart just wasn’t for the best.

  “Oh. I see how it is.” Chloe’s eyes were bright with amusement.

  “You see how what is?”

  “You’re all rattled because he’s not coming on to you.”

  “It’s not that.” Daisy turned over the frame to admire the effect. Then she admitted, “It’s not only that. He’s always been a good guy, a really sweet guy. But he’s never been… nice like this, dancing around what I want. I’d rather him…” She sighed.

  “I thought you were the one who told him you didn’t want to be in a relationship.”

  “I did. I don’t. Maybe part of me does, but I know that part isn’t smart.” She put a hand down on her belly. The curve was showing now beneath her light top. She wasn’t huge, but people looking at her could tell she was pregnant a lot of the time. “It’s not just me I’m making decisions for. And I know Carter is a good guy, but how can I trust that he’ll really stick around? I mean, he couldn’t even have sex with me pregnant without freaking out.”

  Chloe snickered out loud. “I can just picture him fleeing down the hall naked, his underwear in his hands, because of one little kick from the baby.”

  “It’s not funny! It really… hurt. It still hurts when I think about it. I thought we were… getting close, and then he just dumps me without a word. He didn’t even call for a week.”

  Chloe’s expression sobered. “I know. That really sucked of him. I’m on your side. I wouldn’t trust him either. But you can hardly resent the fact that he doesn’t make a move on you when you told him he couldn’t make a move on you.”

  “I know. I don’t resent him for it. I just… I just miss the real him. Even if he was obnoxious and pushy and went totally overboard with everything, I really liked that guy.”

  “I guess you can’t have it both ways. You can be careful or you can have Carter for real. You can’t have both.”

  “I know. And I’ve got to be careful. I’ve got to. This little peanut is too important.”

  “Uh, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve got more than a peanut in there. You seem to get fatter every day.”

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “When are you going to see Carter again?”

  “This weekend. He’s coming down on Saturday.”

  “And how likely is it that you’ll throw this being-careful stuff out the window and just plant a big kiss on him?”

  “Not likely at all.”

  Daisy didn’t think it was likely, but she couldn’t help but think about it.

  Kissing Carter, touching Carter, having Carter touch her, had been better than anything she could remember.

  But she just couldn’t let it happen again.

  She absolutely couldn’t.

  “You know everyone in town thinks you two are dating, right?” Chloe asked.

  Daisy groaned. “Of course I know! People ask me every day. When are you getting married? When is he going to move out there? Why aren’t you living closer to the daddy of your baby?”

  “Well, what did you expect?”

  “I expected exactly that,” she admitted. “At least my parents are being good. They haven’t mentioned marriage once.”

  “That is good of them. We’re well into the twenty-first century now. A woman can have a baby on her own and do it intentionally. It’s just that Preston doesn’t always remember that.”

  “I know.”

  Chloe put down the small pliers she’d been working with and held up a mobile from which dangled several adorable dogs and cats, all chasing each other as the mobile circulated. “What do you think?”

  Daisy stared at the mobile, thought about her little peanut sleeping underneath it, and got a little teary.

  “Oh shit,” Chloe muttered. “Here come the hormones.”

  “I’m not that bad,” Daisy insisted, sniffing and smiling at her friend. “Thank you for making it.”

  “Sure. Anytime.”

  ***

  That Saturday at lunchtime, Daisy was sitting at a table on the patio of her favorite restaurant in downtown Preston.

  Carter was sitting across from her, looking unnervingly attractive in a blue shirt that brought out the color of his eyes.

  He was being nice again, asking about how she’d felt all week and if she needed anything from him.

  She answered all his questions and smiled and chatted with him as friendly as she could. But she was mostly wondering if there was any way to get things back to where they’d been before.

  Before they’d foolishly had sex a few weeks ago.

  Before he’d run out on her.

  “What’s the matter?” he asked after a few moments of silence.

  “Nothing.”

  “That’s not true.” His tone was mild, but his eyes were sharp. He was studying her closely.

  “How do you know it’s not true?”

  “Because I can see it on your face.”

  She felt a sliver of annoyance as his pushing the subject, but also a wave of relief. This felt more like him. The stubborn insistence on knowing what she was thinking, even when she’d prefer to keep it to herself.

  That was Carter.

  “Well, maybe I don’t want to tell you everything I’m thinking. Has that ever occurred to you?”

  “And has it ever occurred to you that I can’t fix whatever’s wrong if you don’t tell me what it is?” His eyebrows were lifted, and his chin was set in a way that looked very obstinate.

  “Has it ever occurred to you that I’m not expecting you to fix things for me?”

  “And has it ever occurred to you that I might want to fix them anyway?”

  They stared at each other for a minute, both of them breathing heavily.

  Then Carter abruptly looked away. “Sorry.”

  A wave of frustration rose in Daisy, and it came out as an exasperated sound. “Sorry for what?”

  Carter blinked. “Sorry for pushing. I’ve been… I’ve been trying to be nice and sensitive.”

  Despite herself, she couldn’t help but giggle at his sheepish look. “I know you have. But that doesn’t mean you can’t ask a question.”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “Of course it doesn’t.”

  “So when I ask you what’s wrong, you’re going to answer me?”

  She stared at him, her mouth falling open slightly. “Of course not! You can ask the question, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to answer you.”

  “Well, what’s the good in that?”

  “The good is that you’ll be yourself, and I’ll be myself, and we can both get along well as parents to our little peanut.”

  Carter’s mouth twitched slightly, but something had relaxed in his eyes, the way it had in Daisy’s chest. Like they’d cleared the air in a way that was almost unspoken. “Okay,” he said. “Fine. So what was the matter earlier?”

  “None of your business. My private thoughts are my own.”

  He scowled at her, but then his mouth twitched again. She couldn’t hold back a smile.

  She wasn’t sure what she would have said then had an older woman not come up to their table.

  Mrs. Wilson had been a member of Daisy’s church since she was born, and Daisy gave the woman a friendly greeting.

  “I saw you over here,” Mrs. Wilson said, patting Daisy on the shoulder and then reaching over and patting Carter too. “And I had to come say hello. It’s so nice to see you with your young man. People talk—you know how they talk—but I kept saying that Daisy is a good girl. She wouldn’t lose her virtue to a man… like that.” Her voice had hushed to close to a whisper, as if what she was saying shouldn’t be overheard. Then she kept rambling on. “I knew he would be a gentleman and do the right thing. There will be wedding bells soon, won’t there?”

  Daisy stared speechlessly, and Carter shifted in his seat.

  Mrs. Wilson tittered. “Look at the bot
h of you blush! Say hello to your mama and daddy for me, will you, Daisy?”

  “Of course,” Daisy replied, immensely relieved as Mrs. Wilson left the table and then made her way off the patio, disappearing inside.

  Daisy slumped. “Sorry about that.”

  She felt uncomfortable and self-conscious and lacking in some way—like the whole town was judging her for choosing Carter for the father of her baby, for being attracted to him to begin with, for continuing to have a relationship with him but not doing it right.

  Carter was a better man than anyone else knew. They shouldn’t judge him just by the way he looked.

  If he was cleaned up some and wore a shirt that covered the tattoos, then probably they’d think he was wonderful.

  “It’s fine. I know how people are.” Carter looked more amused than uncomfortable, and his words pulled her back to their current situation.

  “I’ve known her all my life. She goes to my church. She has a good heart. She really does.”

  “I believe it.” His eyes were glinting with suppressed laughter.

  “Don’t laugh about it! I have to see her every Sunday! Just imagine what she’s saying to all her friends at the beauty parlor about us. Daisy has left her life of sin and is going to settle down with a young man who is going to make an honest woman of her.”

  She was making a joke out of it, but her angst about it was real. The folks at church would never, ever look at her the same again, and it still sometimes bothered her.

  Carter laughed out loud. After a minute, he said in a different tone, “So you lost your virtue to me, did you?”

  “Well, she doesn’t know that I lost my virtue long before I ever met you.”

  Something changed in his eyes. “Did you?”

  “You know I did. Did you think I was a virgin at that wedding?”

  “No. No, of course not.” He cleared his throat. “So exactly how many men took your virtue before me?”

  She was surprised by the question and just a little bit thrilled by the possessive smolder in his eyes. He clearly didn’t like the idea of her sleeping with other men. But naturally, she wasn’t going to admit this. “You can’t lose your virtue more than once. Once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. That’s what Mrs. Wilson would say anyway.”

  “Yeah, but how many are we talking about. Ballpark figure.”

  “How is that any of your business?”

  “It’s not, but I still want to know.”

  “Are you going to tell me how many girls you’ve lost your virtue to?”

  “I will.”

  “So how many?” Her tone was slightly tart, but she was actually brimming with something like giddiness. It felt like Carter was really with her again, really here.

  The real him.

  He closed his eyes and thought for a minute. “I don’t know exactly. Maybe fifteen? I’ve never been a player or anything. You were the only one-night stand I’ve ever had.”

  “Really?”

  His blue eyes softened slightly. “Well, yeah. I’ve never wanted any other woman the way I want you.”

  She gulped. “I meant really, fifteen? That sounds like… like a lot to me.”

  “I guess it depends on your perspective.” He paused and then asked, “So how many for you?”

  She sighed. “Just one.”

  “One?”

  “Yeah. My boyfriend in college. I thought I was going to marry him. We were engaged for a while. He’s the only one before you.”

  “One?”

  Daisy frowned at him. “Yes, one before you. Don’t make me sound like a freak. You know how I was raised, right? I’m walking on the wild side to have slept with two guys before marriage.”

  “I don’t think you’re a freak.”

  “Yes, you do.”

  “No.” He reached over and put a hand over hers on the table. “I really don’t.”

  She searched his eyes and realized he was telling the truth. In fact, he obviously liked the idea that she didn’t have a lot of sexual experience before they’d gotten together.

  Leave it to a guy to be all possessive and territorial that way.

  She tried not to think about the implications of the fact that Carter was possessive and territorial about her.

  ***

  After lunch, they went back to her apartment so she could show Carter the changes she’d made to the nursery.

  It was almost finished now. With the moss-green walls, the light maple crib and changing table, and the pretty little touches in green, yellow, and browns, the room was both pretty and charming.

  She thought so, at least.

  Carter stared around for a long time, strangely silent.

  “What?” she asked at last, a little clench in her chest. “You don’t like it?”

  “Of course I like it!” There was no way to doubt his words. He looked shocked at the very idea that he wouldn’t like the room.

  “Oh. Good. Me, Chloe, and my parents have worked hard on it. And you too.” He’d put together the crib and changing table before he’d run off a few weeks ago. And the big, soft teddy bear he’d bought was in the corner of the crib.

  “I didn’t do as much as I could have,” he murmured, glancing away.

  He felt guilty. She suddenly saw it in him so clearly.

  He felt guilty for leaving her that night, for running away, for not following through on his commitment.

  He’d told her he was sorry, and she’d believed him.

  But this was the first time she’d really seen how he felt, what it meant to him.

  She didn’t want him to feel bad, so she stepped over and put a hand on his chest. “You’ve done plenty.”

  “I haven’t. Not really.”

  “You’ve done way more than a lot of guys would have done.”

  He shook his head. “Does that mean it’s enough?”

  “I don’t know,” she admitted. “But… it means something to me that you want to… to really be a father to our baby.”

  It was the first time she’d ever said our baby, and the words lingered in the room.

  His eyes held hers, and she couldn’t look away. Something deep and warm and strong and real shuddered in the air between them.

  Then he made a soft, breathless sound and leaned forward, brushing his lips against hers.

  Her whole body shivered with the pleasure of it.

  He kissed her again, threading his fingers through her hair, but just when the kiss was getting really good, he drew away.

  “Sorry,” he murmured, slightly ragged.

  She was flushed and panting in response to that kiss. “You’re sorry?”

  He blinked. “I’m not supposed to be doing that.”

  “Oh.” She’d almost forgotten. “Right.”

  “You want us to just be co-parents, right?”

  “R-right.” She couldn’t help the slight hesitation over the word.

  “No relationship?”

  “Right.”

  “No kissing?”

  It sounded like the worst thing in the world—to never have another kiss like that from Carter. She swallowed hard. “Maybe an occasional kiss wouldn’t be the end of the world, but no falling into bed together.”

  His expression warmed, softened. “Got it. No falling into bed.”

  Daisy was confused and excited and jittery, and she wasn’t sure Carter had really gotten it at all.

  He looked like he was planning to kiss her again.

  She had no idea what she would do then.

  Ten

  “Come on now,” Carter said with a huff. “You’re getting way too fat for this.”

  With little more than a glance, Teddy stayed exactly where he was.

  His hands on his hips, Carter studied the large dog and wondered just how he had gotten himself into this situation. The damn dog was a stray—not his responsibility—and yet somehow now he was. They stared at each other as he tried to figure out his next move. It was late, it had been raining, and fo
r some reason he hadn’t felt right about leaving the dog at the garage and had brought him home with him instead.

  Clearly that was a mistake.

  First he’d had to lift the dog into his truck because Teddy wouldn’t climb in on his own. Then he’d had to practically drag him out once they’d gotten home. The dog had whined and looked at him with a pitiful expression, and as much as he wanted to be annoyed, Carter figured the dog probably had been in this scenario before—except the last time someone had simply dumped him on the street and left. The dog had no way of knowing that Carter was looking to make him comfortable and ensuring his safety.

  “You can’t sleep on the couch,” he said after a minute, “and I refuse to keep carrying you around like a damn baby. I made you a nice bed on the floor over there, and that’s where you need to sleep. You’re too dirty for the couch so… down.”

  The dog didn’t even blink at the command.

  “I’m not kidding here, Teddy. Down,” he said with a little more force.

  Nothing.

  With a muttered curse, Carter bent and scooped the massive dog up in his arms and lugged him over to the makeshift bed and gently placed him down. When he straightened, he gave the dog a stern glance but saw how Teddy moved slightly to get comfortable, and with a contented sigh, he was instantly asleep.

  “Damn dog,” he murmured and stepped away.

  He was tired and hungry, and now he smelled like dog.

  It had been a long day, and all he wanted to do was have something to eat, relax, and check on Daisy. Work had kept him busy for the past week, and he hadn’t had time to make the drive to Preston. They’d talked on the phone every day and even exchanged several texts, but still… he missed her.

  “Shower, food, then phone,” he said as he walked to his bedroom and began to get undressed. His phone beeped with an incoming text. Tossing his shirt on the floor, he pulled the phone from his pocket. Seeing Daisy’s name on the screen made him smile. Carter sat on the bed as he swiped the screen, and he immediately laughed.

  Tonight’s dinner, he read, and there was a picture of a plate of nachos and… gummy bears.