Intimate Read online

  She walked over and extended her hand. “Nice to meet you,” she said with a smile. ”We heard you play the other night. You were amazing.”

  Baron’s hand was warm and strong, and he didn’t appear to be in a hurry to release hers. “That’s always nice to hear.”

  His voice was huskier than she’d expected, and the gaze he gave her was hot and admiring and moved slowly from her head to her toes.

  Although she had to fight the urge to cross her arms over her breasts—which suddenly felt naked—Marissa knew how to handle this kind of thing. She was diverted, however, by the effect of Baron’s leering on Caleb.

  He was immediately bristling and defensive, and he scowled angrily at the man who was apparently the brother of a friend.

  It seemed an extreme reaction to one flirtatious look, but maybe Baron was some kind of player and Caleb was feeling particularly protective today.

  After last night, that wouldn’t be surprising.

  Turning back to Baron, Marissa shot him an ironic look. “You need to work on your technique some more. You’ve got the dark, brooding thing down pat, but the leering is a little crass.”

  Caleb choked on a burst of laughter, and Baron looked momentarily taken aback.

  Pleased with herself, Marissa beamed at Caleb, and she was briefly dazed by the warm grin he gave her in response.

  What the hell was going on with him lately? Last night he’d been sweet and tender. This morning he’d been quiet and awkward—which she attributed to his discomfort with the intimacy of last night.

  But now suddenly he was unusually friendly and affectionate again.

  His atypical behavior was quite distracting, but it didn’t distract her enough to miss the open file folder on the coffee table. The one they'd been looking at when she came in. She leaned over casually, trying to catch a glimpse of what was in it.

  Just when she was close enough to read words on the top sheet of paper, Caleb closed the file firmly, giving her an annoyed look.

  And there he went with the mood swings again.

  Baron had been watching this bit of byplay with amusement. He cleared his throat to regain her attention. “So you and Caleb are…”

  “Just friends,” she finished for him, turning to smile at Caleb again and surprising an irritated expression on his face. What had she done to piss him off now?

  “Good,” Baron murmured, giving her another of his smoldering looks. “If Caleb had a prior claim on you, of course, I’d step back. But if you’re just friends…” His gaze finished the statement for him.

  Caleb shot Baron an icy look. “You have so little chance with her that I almost pity you.”

  Marissa frowned. “Excuse me. I don’t need you to speak for me.”

  Making a dismissive gesture with his hands, Caleb said, “Just trying to help. Go right ahead and speak for yourself.”

  Baron now seemed to be hiding a smile, but he managed to summon up another leer in Marissa’s direction. She now suspected he was doing it just to annoy Caleb.

  And it was definitely working.

  “I thought you were going to respond to the crude insinuation,” Caleb prompted.

  “I am.” She turned to Baron and tried to keep her lips from wobbling. “You have so little chance with me that I almost pity you.”

  Baron grinned predatorily, and even Marissa—who no longer indulged such feelings—felt something very faint clench between her legs in response to it. “I’ll take that as a challenge.”

  Marissa definitely felt sorry for any weak-willed women who encountered this man. Good thing her sex-drive no longer affected her decisions, or she might be in very big trouble herself.

  Caleb moved. It was so subtle that she couldn’t really figure out the specific steps, but he somehow rearranged their positions so that he was blocking her view of Baron.

  He looked like he wanted to hit someone.

  Baron, she assumed.

  They must be something close to friends because Baron sure knew how to push Caleb’s buttons.

  She’d never seen anyone rile Caleb up so easily. No one but her.

  “Did you just stop by to say hi?” he asked, effectively closing Baron out of the conversation.

  “Yeah.” She took a step closer to him. He was dressed casually in jeans and an old t-shirt, worn so thin it was soft. Ridiculously, she wanted to pet it. “And—” She stopped abruptly and glanced over at Baron, who watched the two of them with amused curiosity.

  Caleb shifted a bit more, until his back was to Baron. He gazed down at her fondly. “And what?”

  Marissa forgot all about Baron’s presence in the room and suddenly felt all mushy again. It was strange to feel this way about Caleb. Although she’d loved him for years, her feelings about him had always been tempered with a good dose of irony.

  But it was nice that they seemed so close right now.

  Giving in to the ridiculous urge, she stood on her toes and pressed a soft kiss on the side of his jaw. Just like she had last night. “I wanted to thank you for last night.” She kept her voice hushed and then slid her hand down his sleeve so she could touch his t-shirt. His arm was hard beneath the thin fabric.

  The affection was still visible in his eyes, but his body suddenly grew tenser. Assuming she was pushing her luck with the sentiment, she took a step back.

  Caleb shrugged—almost shyly. “You’re welcome. I'm sorry it took me so long to get there.” Then he seemed to remember that Baron was in the room. “I’ve got some stuff to discuss with him, but it doesn’t have to be right now. Did you need me for anything?”

  And the meltiness was back in full force. “No. I’ll let you guys get back at it. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She turned to leave, but Caleb stopped her before she took two steps. “Do you have plans for dinner tomorrow? There’s that new Italian restaurant you wanted to try, the one with the old-fashioned dance floor.”

  “Sure,” she replied, surprised and pleased by the invitation. Caleb was really going all out with this new-and-improved-friend business. She glanced over at Baron. “It was nice to meet you. If you’re still around, you should come to dinner with us tomorrow.”

  Caleb looked decidedly displeased with this idea. “I’m sure he already has other plans.”

  “No plans at all, and I’m not about to refuse an invitation from such a beautiful woman.” He slanted a mocking look over at Caleb. “Or miss the chance to hang out with my brother’s old friend.”

  Caleb appeared to be muttering obscenities under his breath, so Marissa chuckled and made her way to the door. “Then I’ll see you both tomorrow evening. I can’t remember the last time I was so looking forward to dinner.”

  She really was.

  * * *

  As she was trying to drift off to sleep that night, Marissa was bombarded by scattered images and sensations from the last two days.

  Crying in the shower about her dad. Caleb holding her awkwardly and trying to comfort her. Caleb stroking her hair as she fell asleep. Caleb smiling at her so warmly in his apartment. Kissing Caleb in the kitchen last night. Kissing him today. Waking up with him this morning. His arm draped around her. Hugging his arm to her chest. His hand lightly fisted between her breasts. His arousal pressing into her butt. His slow breath against her neck. The possessiveness of his arm against her. The warmth of his body against her. The hardness of his erection against her.

  Marissa gasped and sat up straight in her bed.

  She suddenly realized why she’d had the recurring sick feeling since yesterday.

  It had been so long, she’d almost not recognized it.

  Eight

  Caleb had been trying to work up a new performance piece for more than an hour now.

  But instead of seeing the sheet music laid on the desk in front of him, he was seeing Baron James’s offensive eyes crawl over Marissa’s body earlier in the evening.

  He was seeing Marissa stare back at James, with curiosity and something else in her e
xpression. Caleb wasn’t sure what that something else was, but he definitely didn’t like it.

  She’d almost looked excited.

  He snapped his pencil in half. Swore under his breath and threw the pieces in the waste can with the remains of the two other pencils he’d already broken in the last hour. Then pulled another freshly sharpened pencil out of his desk drawer and tried once again to concentrate on his work.

  This was becoming ridiculous. Laughable in a humiliating way. Surely one woman—a woman he’d known for years—couldn’t disrupt his life to such an extent.

  It simply had to stop.

  With some effort, he managed to restrain his thoughts sufficiently to mark up one page of the music. Then, with a resigned sigh, he put down the pencil and stood up.

  It was after midnight anyway. He might as well give up and go to bed.

  Maybe for once his sleep wouldn’t be haunted by confusing, provocative images of Marissa. With parted lips. Passionate eyes. Dark hair spread out against his pillow. Back arching. Hands raking against his skin. Naked breasts.

  Maybe he wouldn't think about her tonight.

  Twenty minutes later, he climbed into bed. His bed was huge, but no one had ever slept in it but him. He’d always liked his space and met women at their places instead.

  He tried to clear his mind but still thought about holding Marissa on the sofa last night. Sleeping with her in his arms. Thought about her tender eyes—her soft mouth—as she kissed him in his living room, not so many hours ago.

  Caleb’s body reacted automatically to the memory, just as it had when she’d kissed him. Not urgently, but enough to feel the familiar tug in his groin.

  Suddenly, he wished she were here now. In his bedroom. In his bed. He wanted her—in so many ways.

  Shifting restlessly against the thick mattress, Caleb felt unexpectedly lonely.

  After tossing and turning for several more minutes and finding himself unable to fall asleep or even get comfortable, he glanced at the clock. Almost one o’clock.

  Automatically, he reached for the phone beside the bed and dialed Marissa’s number.

  As he heard the first ring, he felt a rush of anxiety. What was he doing? She might very well be asleep, and his calling her this late for no reason would startle and confuse her.

  He was about to hang up, but she answered the phone after only one ring.

  “Hello?” She didn’t sound groggy, so Caleb hoped that meant she hadn’t been asleep after all.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  He loved how her voice softened as she said the one word.

  Already feeling better, he asked, “Did I wake you up?”

  “No. I was just lying in bed thinking.”

  He forced himself not to envision her lying in bed doing anything. “What about?”

  There was a very brief pause. “It’s hard to explain.”

  “Try.”

  The pause was longer this time, and her voice was stilted as she replied, “Do you ever start to think that what’s worked for you for years may not work for you forever?”

  Caleb was momentarily terrified that she’d found him out. That she’d figured out how he’d been feeling for the last few weeks and was trying to find a discreet way to address it. He replied vaguely, cautiously, “Sometimes. Why?”

  Yet another hesitation. He didn’t know if she was struggling to find the right words or debating whether to answer the question. “I’ve been happy for the last five years. I know some people are skeptical—they think I’ve been in denial the whole time—but I’ve genuinely been happy and content with my life as it is.”

  Caleb swallowed hard, realizing at once what she was talking about. “I believe you. Are you starting to question it now?”

  “I don’t know. But I don’t want to cling to my old decisions just because I made them years ago. I don’t want to limit my options out of stubbornness or…or fear.”

  Her words sparked a flare of hope. If his feelings had been changing recently, then maybe hers had as well. Maybe their friendship was mutually transforming, and it wasn’t just some random insanity of his. “Has something happened to change your mind?”

  “No,” she responded, unconsciously dampening his hope. “And I’m not even sure that my mind has been changed. But, I guess…I mean…I’ve just been wanting something—I don’t know—more. I’m not unhappy, just…I don’t know…I just…I don’t know.”

  He’d rarely heard her so at a loss for words. He wasn’t sure if it was a good sign or not. “You’ve always said that you could lift sex out of your life in such a way that you don’t even miss it.”

  “Yeah, but sometimes it sneaks back in anyway.”

  The thrill of hope returned. This must be evidence that Marissa had been having sexual thoughts recently. There was no other way to interpret her words.

  Caleb tried to contain his excitement—couldn't let himself get carried away quite yet. “Is this something you want to pursue?”

  He had been right to temper his enthusiasm. Marissa’s response was like a bucket of water on that irrepressible spark of hope.

  “No.” Then hesitated before she continued, “It’s not as easy as simply making a decision anyway, but I just don’t want to close myself off to possibilities.”

  “I don’t think you should close yourself off to possibilities either.” Caleb shut his eyes. Pictured her in his mind. Felt a swell of affection he didn’t quite know what to do with. “You’re a generous, intelligent, beautiful woman, with so much to offer. Don’t let your old fears define what you do with the rest of your life.”

  As soon as he spoke the words, he regretted them. Felt young and stupid—things he almost never felt. And overly earnest.

  Marissa didn’t appear to find his response stupid, however. When she spoke again, her voice was strangled, as if she’d been deeply affected by his words. “Thanks, Caleb. That means a lot. You’ve been a really good friend to me lately.”

  Caleb wasn’t sure if he should be touched or frustrated by this reply. There was obvious affection in her tone, but clearly she couldn’t imagine what he’d really been thinking about her lately.

  He wondered if he should say something—now, when she was tender and open.

  But what the hell should he say?

  “Marissa,” he began. Then stopped himself, something like terror stopping the words in his throat.

  He was so confused. Might as well be a horny, lovesick adolescent who was too scared to make a move on the girl he wanted. Couldn’t help but despise himself for being so pathetic.

  “So tell me about Baron James.”

  Caleb actually grunted in response.

  This couldn’t be a coincidence, her shifting the subject in this way. She’d been talking about changing her mind about sex, and now she was asking about James.

  Of course. It all made perfect, horrible sense. It was why all these questions were coming up now.

  Her altered feelings weren’t about Caleb after all—he was just her old friend, her confidant, the person she turned to for advice.

  That advice had nothing to do with Caleb.

  And everything to do with Baron James.

  He couldn’t speak immediately. His throat literally closed up. As he stifled his disappointment—although disappointment wasn’t really the word for it—he felt a rush of hatred toward James.

  He hated him. Hated him. Even though the man had been more of a friend to Caleb than his younger brother, the James who was supposed to be Caleb’s friend.

  Caleb had never paid attention to James’s success with women—had never even given it a second thought. It was just one of those things. Caleb had always been able to have any woman he wanted, and he knew the same was true about James.

  Except now something was different. Because Caleb couldn’t have Marissa.

  But maybe James could.

  “Caleb?” she prompted, curiosity palpable in her voice.

  “What do you
want to know about him?”

  “I don’t know. Whatever. How long have you known him?”

  “For a while. I told you—I was friends with his brother, Steven.”

  “What happened to his brother?”

  “There was some big family fight, and he just fell off the map. I have no idea where he is now.”

  “Why were you acting so territorial earlier when Baron was flirting with me? Is he an asshole? An ax murderer? A creepy stalker type who lurks in the shadows? Does he have multiple wives in cities around the world? A harem in his basement?”

  Caleb tightened his lips, not at all liking where this conversation was going. “He gets around,” he said obliquely, answering part of her question and speaking nothing but the truth.

  “I’m sure he does. Like someone else I could mention. But is he dangerous or something? You seemed more militant than usual in discouraging his attentions to me.”

  “He could be dangerous,” he said carefully. Then felt guilty—because James was genuinely a good guy. “But, no, he isn’t in the habit of hurting women.”

  “Hmm,” she murmured, sounding disgustingly intrigued.

  Unable to take the suspense anymore, Caleb finally voiced his fears. “Are you interested in him?”

  “Of course.” She made it sound so matter-of-fact—so obvious—that he felt like he’d been slapped across the face. “Talk about a man of mystery. Baron James has more layers than an onion. I’m dying to peel some of them away.”

  “Just remember, once you peel back the layers of an onion, you’re left with nothing but tears and foul-smelling hands.”

  She laughed irresistibly. “Very clever. I’m really looking forward to dinner.”

  Caleb couldn’t say the same. “Maybe I should just stay at home then.”

  “Wow. You really are grumpy tonight. Why did you call me if you’re just going to be snotty?”

  He’d been hoping she wouldn’t remember to ask him that. “No reason,” he lied. “I didn’t realize it was so late.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m glad you did. You distracted me enough from my weird ponderings that maybe I can actually go to sleep now.”