Loved None But You Read online

  Anne realized she’d told Em a while back but not Liz. She didn’t want to go into all this since it was making her too emotional, but she couldn’t bring herself to shut down Liz’s perfectly reasonable question. “I don’t really know. I mean, I do. I thought it was the right thing at the time. I was just twenty-one, and I’d just gotten a great job offer. The marketing firm seemed perfect at that time and not the kind of job most people get out of college. If I had married him, I couldn’t have taken the job. I’d have to move all over the world with him—wherever he happened to be stationed—and it would be hard for me to find a job in my field at all. My dad and sisters kept saying it was a bad idea. We were too young, and my career was too important, and I’d never get this opportunity again. I believed them. So I said no.”

  Both Em’s and Liz’s faces were sympathetic. They didn’t look like they thought Anne was stupid for rejecting a man she was still convinced was the love of her life.

  She’d never been in love with a man before Robert.

  Or since.

  “So you wish you’d married him?” Liz asked softly.

  “I don’t know. I did love him. For real. I’m sure we could have made it work. But it would have been hard. He’d have been deployed for months at a time, and I wouldn’t have been able to get a job in my field, so I would have been alone for long stretches of time with nothing but a throwaway job.” Anne sighed. “But now that it’s turned out that I didn’t really want the job I took as much as I thought—that I actually quit—it makes me wonder.” She shook herself off. “But it doesn’t matter anymore. The decision was made six years ago. It will just feel weird to see him again. But maybe we won’t have to even see each other.”

  Liz made a face.

  “What is it?”

  “He’s going to be staying with us. Me and Vince. Here at Pemberley House. Vince just confirmed that Robert said okay to the idea.”

  Anne gulped.

  “Is that all right?”

  “Of course it’s all right.” Anne cleared her expression and managed to smile. “It makes me feel a little queasy, but it’s seriously been six years. How pitiful would I be if I couldn’t see my ex after so long?”

  “You’re not pitiful. But things like this are hard.” Em had a particular expression on her face—the one that indicated she was thinking hard, scheming, calculating ways to manage the situation. “I’m sure we can figure out a way for you to avoid him if you really want to.”

  “I don’t want to avoid him. When he gets here, I want to see him for the first time in a large group so it won’t feel significant. And after that, it will be fine. I’m not going to spend any time with him. He’s not going to want to hang out with me anyway. He was so angry with me when we broke up.”

  “But surely he’s not still angry. After so long?” Em’s hazel eyes were wide.

  “I don’t know. I hope not. But I’m sure he’s not going to want to be friends with me, and that’s just as well. We’re both adults. Whatever we had is history. We’re both going to be able to handle this just fine. I’ve been restarting my life in terms of my career, and this might be the right time to restart my life in terms of Robert too. Really get closure at last.”

  Em and Liz exchanged glances—with skeptical looks that made Anne’s shoulders stiffen—but she didn’t argue with what they weren’t saying.

  Of course they might wonder if Anne was going to be okay with this situation, but they didn’t know what Anne knew.

  Maybe she made a mistake six years ago. She still didn’t know.

  She’d never been good at standing up for herself, and her decisions regarding Robert were just one in a long list of bad results.

  But she’d grown up a lot in the meantime. She was doing better now. She was trying to stand on her own. She was strong enough to get through this.

  Seeing Robert Darcy again after so long wasn’t going to shake her.

  Not very much anyway.

  ROBERT DARCY’S LEG hurt like hell, and he really didn’t want to be home.

  There were any number of reasons for that, and most of them had nothing to do with the fact that Anne Elliston lived there.

  He was over her. And had been for years.

  He just needed to keep reminding himself of that fact.

  Last month, he’d been getting out of a helicopter during a storm at sea, and his ankle had gotten hooked under a step.

  The result was unfortunate. One of those single moments that changed everything.

  Now he was stuck on disability leave because of his torn-up leg—hopefully just temporarily—and he was back in Abingdon. It wasn’t his hometown, but his folks had retired and moved to Abingdon just before his freshman year in college, so it felt as much like home as anything did anymore. His choices were to live with his mother or live with Vince and his fiancée. He’d chosen his brother since that was his best hope of feeling like an independent adult, but neither option was particularly desirable.

  Anne lived in Pemberley House. Which meant he’d have to see her. Probably quite often.

  Not that it mattered anymore.

  Theirs had been a college relationship. Naturally it had been over after they had graduated. She’d wanted her job more than she wanted him, and that was completely understandable. He hadn’t wanted to keep her from a job she’d worked hard to earn, but his ROTC scholarship required at least five years of active service in the Navy after he graduated. He didn’t have a choice about his career. Part of him suspected her family had never thought he was impressive enough for them. She’d never acted like she’d believed them, but maybe she did. He was sure if she’d loved him the way he did her, they would have been able to work something out, but she hadn’t.

  She’d just said no to his proposal, and that was it.

  He was over it.

  He really was.

  He’d done well for himself as an officer in the Navy—at least before the appalling misstep that had fractured two bones in his ankle and completely torn multiple ligaments from his ankle to his hip—and he had nothing to be ashamed of. She’d see what he made of himself.

  But he was still nervous about seeing her. Talking to her. Proving to her and everyone else that he was over her for good.

  What if they didn’t believe he was?

  “Robert?”

  He blinked, turning his head to look at his mother, who was standing next to the coffeepot at the kitchen counter in her Victorian house. “What?”

  She was a slim woman in her sixties with long salt-and-pepper hair and a rather frazzled demeanor. She frowned at him. “You’re not even listening to me.”

  “Sorry. It’s the pain medication. What were you saying?”

  Her expression proved she didn’t buy his excuse, but she didn’t pursue discussion of his distraction. “Vince needs to go to a big auction this morning, but he’s free after that to help you move into his place.”

  His parents had owned a successful dental practice for twenty-five years. They were still fairly young when they retired, so they’d opened an antique shop in Abingdon, mostly for something to do. The shop had done well—so well that his mother hadn’t been able to handle all the work when his father died last year. Vince had come home to help her and evidently enjoyed it so much that he’d stayed.

  He’d also fallen in love, so that might be part of his happiness here.

  Abingdon was a nice little town. It had a charming, historic downtown and a thriving artsy culture. There was nothing in the world wrong with living there.

  But Robert would rather be near the ocean.

  And he’d rather not be this close to the woman who’d broken his heart.

  “I don’t have much stuff,” he told his mother. “Just clothes and a few personal things.” He’d been living in furnished Navy housing in the Philippines for almost two years. He didn’t have any furniture.

  “That’s fine. They’ve got furniture in the second bedroom. Liz’s sister, Jane, was in that room until
she moved in with her fiancé. It might be a little girly, but it should be comfortable.”

  “Girly is fine. Hopefully I won’t be there long.”

  “I thought the doctor said your leg might never be the same.”

  “It might not. But I’m planning to work as hard as I can so I can get back to work as soon as possible.”

  He was on crutches now, which was annoying, but it was improvement from the wheelchair he’d had to use for the first weeks after his injury and subsequent surgery.

  “Well, hopefully you’ll be able to. I’m not going to begrudge the chance to see you though.” His mother’s smile was kind and just a little teasing.

  Robert rolled his eyes but returned her smile. “I’m sure you’re not going to complain. You’re not the one who can’t walk.”

  Her smile faded. “You know I wouldn’t have wished this on you.”

  “I know. I’m sorry for whining about it. I am happy to see you. It just feels awkward. Coming here.”

  “I understand. But you and Anne have both grown up a lot. I’m sure you’ll be just fine. And who knows? Maybe there will still be a spark.”

  “There’s not going to be a spark. She’s not the kind of woman I want.”

  “What do you mean? She’s a lovely woman—inside and out.”

  “I’m sure she is. But I want a woman who is going to think a relationship is the most important thing, and she obviously doesn’t.”

  “Robert—”

  “Don’t give me that disapproving look. I’m not bad-mouthing her. It’s totally fine for her to make her own choices for her life. I just want a woman who is going to choose me.” He swallowed hard, wishing he hadn’t blurted out so much. He was usually more controlled than that.

  Anne didn’t matter to him anymore, so he needed to not act like she did.

  His mother came over with a fresh cup of coffee and sat at the kitchen table beside him. She patted his arm. “I understand.”

  It sounded like she meant more than a simple response to what he said, and it made him feel more vulnerable than ever.

  “I don’t think it’s wrong to want that,” he added.

  “It’s not,” his mother said softly. “As long as you’re equally willing to choose her.”

  Robert wasn’t entirely sure what to make of that. It made him feel irrationally defensive, but arguing with such a statement would be ridiculous.

  But the truth was he had chosen Anne six years ago.

  And she hadn’t chosen him back.

  LATE THAT AFTERNOON, Robert was sitting on the terrace of Vince and Liz’s condo in Pemberley House with his leg propped up and a glass of iced tea in his hand.

  He felt like a lazy slug since Vince had had to move all his stuff in for him. With his stupid leg, he couldn’t even do that.

  Vince hadn’t seemed to mind, especially since Robert had very few possessions to bring up to his new room. But Robert still didn’t like being so useless.

  He was used to keeping busy. Being active.

  He wasn’t used to sitting around and watching other people work.

  He hadn’t seen Anne yet.

  Maybe it would be a long time before he did.

  “Okay,” Vince said, coming out to join him on the terrace. He took a seat across the table from Robert. “All done.”

  “Thanks for doing that.”

  “No problem.” Vince was four years older than Robert, but the two men looked very similar. Both of them were around six feet with dark hair, broad shoulders, and a strong jaw. Robert had blue eyes instead of Vince’s gray, but it was obvious the two were brothers. “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else in the world.”

  “That’s not true. I’m fine with being here. But who the hell likes to be injured?”

  “Not me. I’m sorry it happened to you.”

  “I’m sure it will be fine.” Robert said the words, hoping he believed them.

  “Try to think about this as a vacation. This is a really nice place to live. I think you’ll like it if you give it a chance.”

  “I am giving it a chance, but it’s only going to be temporary.”

  Pemberley House was beautiful. The mansion had been built in the 1890s and only converted to condos ten years ago. The finishes were elegant, and the historic character preserved as much as possible. The grounds of the estate were extensive with perfectly tended gardens and walking paths.

  Robert would still prefer to live on the coast.

  And he’d definitely prefer more distance from Anne.

  As if his thoughts had conjured her, she appeared in the parking lot just then, getting out of a small dark red SUV.

  He recognized her immediately, even just a glimpse of her from the side. She had reddish-brown hair and a short, curvy figure. No one in the world had an ass like she did. His whole body—and heart—lurched in interest as she reached into the back of her car to grab a leather bag.

  She must be coming home from work. He’d learned from Liz that she’d recently quit her old job and was working part-time at Liz’s family’s antiques store. She was dressed in gray trousers, a green top, and heels. She walked with the same purpose she always had—with fast strides and clear focus.

  She was nearing the building when she looked up. Her friend lived in this unit, so maybe it was a habit for her to look up as she approached. But Robert wasn’t expecting it.

  Their eyes met across the distance. His heart hammered in his chest.

  The first time he’d ever seen her had been at freshman orientation in college. She’d been in his group, and she’d been rolling her eyes at the other kids’ antics.

  He’d smiled at her, completely understanding her frustration, and she’d smiled back.

  His heart had lurched back then, exactly as it did right now.

  She looked away quickly and kept walking until she’d disappeared into the building.

  Robert took a deep breath and told himself the worst was over.

  Of course it was weird to see her again after so long. The last time he’d seen her he’d been begging her to accept his marriage proposal. The memory of it still made him cringe.

  But now that he’d seen her, things would be fine. He wasn’t always going to feel this way.

  One’s college girlfriend wasn’t a life-changing event. He wasn’t hung up on her anymore.

  He was ready to move on.

  He was going to.

  Whether Anne was around or not.

  Two

  THE FOLLOWING EVENING, Anne was trying not to panic about meeting Robert again.

  She’d seen him on the terrace yesterday, and that brief sighting had been bad enough. She’d frozen. Throbbed with emotion. Worried he’d been able to see her reaction—that he’d know she still had feelings for him.

  She’d finally managed to pull it together and keep walking, but she wasn’t pleased with herself for her response.

  The decisions she’d made six years ago couldn’t be changed. It wasn’t her fault the feelings she’d had for him back then had never gone away. That didn’t mean she needed to act silly or immature about it.

  She was a grown-up. She could live with the choices she made even if she sometimes wished she’d done things differently. She wasn’t going to make it awkward for either Robert or herself now.

  But tonight she was going over to dinner at Liz and Vince’s, which meant she’d have to talk to Robert. There would be a large group. They’d also invited Jane and Charlie, Em and Ward, and Liz’s younger sister, Riot. But Anne was still nervous about the evening.

  She had no idea how she should even act.

  She wasn’t a big talker in groups, so she figured she could just fade into the background. She was good at that. Being in the background was necessary in a family like hers. Maybe no one would even notice her or wonder if she was regretting saying no to Robert’s proposal.

  That was her plan. Just stay quiet and hope no one drew attention to her. Then the worst would be over—the fi
rst meeting—and she could feel like a reasonable, intelligent grown-up again.

  She was trying to figure out what to wear when she heard her sister, Mary, come home.

  Mary’s entrance could always be heard all through the condo.

  First it was loudly closing the door. Then it was the dropping of everything Mary carried in her hands. Then it was a series of moans as she kicked off her shoes and collapsed onto the sofa.

  The final step of Mary’s arrival sounded through the walls a minute later.

  “Anne! Anne, where are you? Anne!”

  Anne tied the robe she’d thrown on after her shower and went out to the large living room. They lived in a three-bedroom unit on the ground floor of Pemberley House. It was one of the smaller units in the building, but it was still larger and nicer than a more contemporary apartment building. The ceilings were high, the windows were large, and the finishes were elegant.

  Anne found her older sister sprawled out on the sofa with her eyes closed. Mary was six years older than Anne. Because of the age difference, they’d never been as close as other sisters Anne knew—like Liz and Jane—but Anne would have been very happy to live with Mary had she not been quite so demanding.

  “Did you want something?” Anne asked.

  “Can you get me a glass of wine? I can’t move.”

  Because Mary was letting her live here rent-free for the next several months, she had to help out around the house. But a truth that was becoming clear to Anne was that she’d always done it anyway, even when she’d paid her sister rent. She’d kept things clean, and she’d done most of the shopping, and she’d fetched and carried when asked.

  It was just easier than dealing with the complaints and grumbles.

  But standing up for herself in one area of her life was making her wonder what it would be like to stand up for herself in others.

  It wouldn’t kill Mary to get her ass off the couch and get her own glass of wine.

  She didn’t say so, however. She wasn’t paying rent right now, and she didn’t want to jeopardize that until she really got her business off the ground. So she went to pour Mary a glass of chardonnay without objection.