Third Life Read online

  Things were so good just a moment ago, but I suddenly feel self-conscious. I swallow hard. Arousal is still pulsing between my legs, but my hands are starting to shake.

  “Hey,” he says softly.

  I stare up. He’s standing just next to where I’m sitting.

  “Come here.” He extends a hand.

  I take it and let him help me to my feet. Our gazes meet, and I know he can see my shift in mood.

  “Are you nervous?”

  I nod, once again losing the ability to speak.

  “Do you want to stop?”

  I shake my head, but the question breaks the block in my throat. “No. No, I don’t want to stop. I’m just kind of nervous. I’ve never... I’ve never done this before.”

  He thinks I’m talking about having a one-night stand.

  He doesn’t know I’ve never done anything.

  And I’m not going to tell him. I don’t know when I came to the decision, but it’s solidified in my mind now. I don’t want him to know I’m a virgin. I don’t want him to know this is my first time.

  It would change things, and I don’t want them to change.

  “Okay.” He brushes some hair back from my face and then holds on to a bunch of it lightly. “If you want to stop at any point, you’ll tell me?”

  “Yes. I will.”

  “And if you don’t like something we do, you’ll tell me that too.”

  “Yes.”

  “If you tell me what you like, what works for you, I’m sure I can adapt to your preferences.” He’s almost smiling now. Sexy and sardonic both.

  I giggle, but there’s no way I can tell him my preferences.

  I don’t even know what they are.

  “Do we really have to talk everything through beforehand?” I raise a hand to rub his shoulder and then curve around the back of his neck.

  He leans forward to give me a soft kiss. “No. We don’t have to talk at all if you don’t want. Just tell me if you don’t like something. I get why you’re nervous. I’m a stranger to you. But I want this to be good for you. I’m going to try to make sure it is.”

  “Thank you.” My voice breaks slightly. I don’t know why what he says affects me emotionally, but it does. “I’ll tell you if something isn’t working for me. But what we were doing earlier was definitely working.”

  “For me too.” He kisses me again, deeper this time. It’s passionate like our kiss in the chair, and it has the same effect—immediately distracting me from the flurry of thoughts in my brain and awakening something in my body.

  I’m not sure how it happens, but we somehow end up on the bed. I’m on my back, sprawled sideways with my legs hanging over the side, and Richard is on top of me, kissing me until my head spins and I can’t take a full breath.

  I like his weight on me. It’s heavy. Secure. Incredibly warm. He’s holding himself up slightly on bent arms, but all his focus is on the kiss.

  When his lips finally leave my mouth, I think he’s going to give me a break. But he’s not. He trails kisses down my face to my neck. Then down even lower to the V of my top.

  I’m arching my back off the bed as tingles of excitement swallow me up. My nipples are almost aching, and I didn’t think that was possible. I’m clawing at one of his shoulders and clutching a fistful of his hair in my other hand. I’m making the most ridiculous sounds. Soft. Helpless. Raspy.

  My shirt suddenly feels too tight. Restrictive. I’ve got to get rid of it soon. I let go of his shoulder and fumble with the bottom of my top, trying to pull it off over my head. These aren’t ideal conditions for disrobing, and the shirt ends up twisted awkwardly around my chest.

  Richard lifts his face from where he was nibbling my collarbone and blinks down at me. He looks hot and hazy, like he’s as consumed by the kiss as I am.

  “I’m stuck,” I tell him with a little giggle.

  He laughs and repositions himself so he can use both hands to extricate me from the top. I see the expression in his eyes as they run up and down my body, now wearing nothing but my skirt and bra.

  “Can I take this off too?” he murmurs, running a finger along my bra strap.

  “Yeah.” I lift up so he can reach around and unhook the back before he pulls the fabric away from my body.

  His lips part slightly. His cheeks are slightly flushed. His eyes are hot and hungry as they linger on my naked breasts.

  My breasts are a pretty good size, but they’re not perky. At all. They’re soft and heavy, and I really don’t know how they compare to the other female breasts he’s seen in the past.

  He doesn’t appear to have any complaints. He breathes out two words. “Damn, Gillian.”

  I take a shaky breath that makes my breasts jiggle. “Is that a good damn?”

  “That’s a very good damn.” He lowers his face to take one of my nipples in his mouth.

  If I thought having him kiss me with my clothes on was a heady feeling, it was nothing compared to this.

  His mouth on my breast felt so good—so intense, so raw, so real—that it almost hurts. I give a loud gasp and grab for his head.

  He lets my nipple slip out from between his lips as he raises his eyes to my face. “Okay?”

  “Yeah.” I’m suddenly afraid that I’m coming across as too inexperienced, so I manage a dry smile. “It’s better than I was expecting, if you want to know the truth.”

  “Better than your original low expectations or better than your expectations for me?”

  His question surprises me. Distracts me. I pause for a minute, momentarily forgetting that I’m on a hotel bed with him and I’m mostly naked. His blue eyes hold mine without wavering. I’ve read about eyes like his in books, but I really didn’t know natural eyes could be so vividly blue.

  Finally I admit the truth. “Better than both.”

  He smiles.

  I roll my eyes. “I shouldn’t have told you that. Your ego is already big enough.”

  “What do you know about my ego?” He’s busy at my breast again. He must be good at multitasking since he’s started to also do something new to my other breast, right in the middle of the conversation.

  I’m not good at multitasking, particularly when someone is giving my nipple a twirl with his tongue that makes me want to squirm. But I do my best to keep up. “Well, I know what you’ve shown me of it, which has confirmed it’s already more than inflated enough.”

  He’s chuckling as he kisses his way lower—down to my belly. He fondles both my breasts while he finds a ticklish spot on my side with his mouth.

  That does away with any attempt of mine to be cool and collected about this new experience.

  I squeal.

  He’s laughing again as he looks back up at me. “Was that good or bad?”

  “I don’t even know.” I’m not even embarrassed by my outburst, although I would have assumed I would be.

  “Then we’ll try it again and see.” He’s obviously enjoying himself as he lowers his mouth back to my right side. He skillfully lands on the exact same spot and gives it some teasing suction that makes me jerk and squeal again. “Good or bad?”

  “Both at the same time. I’m mostly just ticklish there.”

  “Mm-hmm.” His mouth is too occupied to say more than that, traveling back up to my breasts. This time he gives them more sustained attention.

  So sustained that soon I’m so aroused I can’t hold still. I’m practically writhing beneath him and trying to hold on to the bedding—which only serves to yank it all up from the bed, providing me no purchase.

  Then, right when I’m on the edge of screaming, he slips a hand down between my legs, pushing up my skirt, moving aside my panties, and feeling me there.

  I’m very wet. Wetter than I thought I was capable of becoming. His hand teases until I spread my thighs wider for him. I suck in a sharp breath as I feel one of his fingers stroking me open. Sliding inside.

  My spine arches at the intimate pleasure of it, and my mouth falls open in a soundle
ss exclamation.

  “Is this okay?” he murmurs, kissing a spot at the base of my throat that he discovered I liked earlier. “Too fast?”

  “Fast?” I choke, gripping handfuls of his hair since it’s the only thing I can find to hang on to. “You think this is fast? I thought you were dragging it out on purpose out of some need to feed your ego.”

  That amuses him. I can feel laughter shake through his body. The feel of it is as powerful as his kisses and caresses—just in a different way.

  I really can’t believe that I can make this man laugh. I’m not even really trying.

  “My ego is doing just fine. I really just want to make sure it’s good for you.” He gives one of my nipples a gentle tug with his teeth, and the pleasure is so sharp I make a sound between a gasp and a cry.

  “I appreciate that,” I say raggedly. I’ve relaxed my fingers in his hair and smooth down the mess I’ve made of it. “I really do. But I’ve already told you that this is way better than I was expecting, so you don’t need to make it last all night.”

  “Why shouldn’t I?”

  “Why shouldn’t you what?” I’m usually a quick thinker. I can only assume that too much foreplay has slowed my mental acumen.

  “Why shouldn’t we make it last all night?” He finally starts to move his finger, pumping it inside me.

  I toss my head back and forth on the mattress as the pleasure intensifies. We’re still sprawled out sideways, nowhere close to a pillow. “Well... because...” I’m trying. Fighting through the rising sensations. Struggling to say something lucid. “Because all night... is a really... long time.”

  “Yes. It is.” He adds a second finger to the first and moves his mouth back down to my breast. He’s been moving around a lot up to this point. Trying different things. Never letting me settle into one particular move or caress.

  But he’s focused down now. He suckles my nipple as he pumps two fingers inside me, and I know for sure I’m going to come soon.

  It’s not going to take very long.

  I’ve bent up my legs without thinking, planting my feet on the mattress in some instinctive desire to ride his hand. My skirt is hiked up around my waist in a very undignified way, but for some reason it makes me feel sexier. I’m afraid if I grab for his hair again, I’ll pull it so hard it would hurt him, so I grab for his shoulders instead. He’s still wearing his shirt. The only things he’s taken off so far are his shoes and jacket.

  “Is this working for you?” he mumbles over my breast, momentarily pausing from what he was doing.

  “Yes. Yes! Don’t stop.” So maybe I sound a little desperate. There’s nothing in the world I can do about that.

  He’s smiling as he starts up again with his hand and his mouth. I can’t see his face, but I know what his expression looks like. I can feel it. And I love it. I love it as much as the way he’s touching me right now.

  He fucks me with his fingers and works at my breast until an orgasm has coiled hard inside me, just on the edge of release. I’m practically sobbing—not loud but helpless—as I claw at his shirt, trying desperately to hang on to something as my body comes apart.

  It does. Comes apart. I jerk and shudder and whine and sniff and flail about in a completely uninhibited way.

  Uninhibited for me. I’m not screaming my head off or banging the headboard against the wall or anything like that. But I’m feeling too much—too good—to control my body. I let it do what it wants to do, and that’s definitely a new experience for me.

  Richard is still smiling as he raises his head and watches me as he strokes me through the climax. His hand slows down until it’s almost gentle as the final aftershocks run through me, making me shiver.

  I’ve relaxed back onto the bed now, my body soft and replete. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling, holding at bay any self-consciousness or anxiety that might be tempted to creep back in, now that I’ve gotten what I need.

  “How was that?” he asks.

  I can’t see his face, but even his voice sounds faintly smug. I frown with my eyes still closed. “You know how it was.”

  “Pretty good?”

  “Very good. Which you know perfectly well.”

  “It does look like you’re feeling good right now.”

  I can’t resist taking a peek at his expression, and it’s just as dryly amused as I suspected. “I am. So thank you. I mean it. But that’s all the ego stroking you’re going to get from me.”

  “We can do a different kind of stroking, unless you’re ready for this to be over.”

  My eyes pop open all the way. “You think I’d say I’m done when I’m the only one who’s had an orgasm?”

  “Not really. You seem like a generous person. But men do that to women all the time, so I figured it was only fair to ask.”

  I snort. “I do appreciate that you’re not one of those men. My one-night stand would have been pretty disappointing if that were the case.”

  “But that’s what you were expecting, right?”

  “Right. But you clearly defy all expectations. So we can do some more, if you want.” I swallow, my cheeks warming even more than they already are. “I mean sex.”

  He leans over and murmurs in my ear, his husky voice making me shiver. “Sorry to break it to you, baby, but what we were just doing is sex.”

  I choke on surprised laughter. “I know that. I just meant...”

  He’s climbing off the bed and pulling off his tie. “I know what you meant. I’m just giving you a hard time. It seems to me that you haven’t had anyone give you a hard enough time.”

  I frown as I watch him. He’s really sexy as he takes his clothes off. He’s not making a show of it or anything. He’s just unbuttoning his shirt, pulling the tails out of his trousers, sliding off his belt, and undoing his cuffs. But there’s something incredibly sexy about the matter-of-fact intimacy of it. But I’m not absorbed in watching enough to forget the conversation. “What would you know about whether people give me a hard time or not?”

  “I don’t know. I’m just guessing. But it seems like you’re used to people treating you as perfectly competent and composed. I can see why. You’re obviously supersmart, and you’re probably one of the best at the work you do. So you’re used to people taking you seriously and assuming you know what you’re doing. And you’re not rattled very often. You’re not usually thrown off your guard.”

  I stare at him, startled and strangely moved by his casual words. He’s not just seeing me. He’s understanding me. I lick my lips and feel a few faint alarm bells, warning me—reminding me—that this is just a one-night stand and that, after tonight, I’ll never see this man again.

  It doesn’t matter how deeply he seems to understand me. All that matters is that we enjoy right now. “Well, if that’s what you’re trying to do, then you’re certainly succeeding. I have no idea what to make of you.”

  “Good.” He pulls his undershirt over his head, baring his chest. It’s a very good chest. Broad shoulders and tight abs and attractive muscle development.

  But it’s not a bodybuilder’s chest, and it’s not waxed or manscaped in any way. Some of his chest hair is dark and some of it is gray.

  He looks real. Realer than he did in his suit.

  His smile fades as he drops the shirt on the floor. His fingers linger on the fly of his trousers, but he doesn’t unzip yet. “Disappointed?”

  “No!” The word bursts out of me. “No. You look good. Really good.”

  He relaxes as he shucks his trousers. “Okay. Just checking.” He’s wearing black boxer briefs, and he’s visibly aroused beneath them.

  I gulp at the sight of him.

  This is happening. Really happening.

  There’re hardly any barriers between us now.

  “I... uh, I assume you have your own condoms.” I’m trying to sound easy and natural and pretty sure I’m not managing it. “But if you don’t, I’ve got—”

  “I’ve got us covered,” he says, walking toward the
bathroom. I watch him. The tight contours of his ass. The long columns of his legs.

  I’m going to have sex with this man. In just a minute or two.

  I realize I’m still sideways on the bed in a rather messy sprawl, so I sit up and slide my skirt off all the way. I’m almost naked now, and it feels strange so I pull back the covers of the bed and get under them.

  I’m covering my breasts when he comes back into the room. “Why did you do that?”

  “Why did I do what?”

  “Cover up.”

  “Well, I was just lying here waiting for you. It was cold.” I’m not cold. Not the slightest bit cold. But it’s a good excuse, so I’m taking it.

  “Okay. I’ll warm you up soon enough.” He pauses at the edge of the bed. “You have any preferences?”

  “About what?”

  “Positions, mood, degree of roughness. Anything of that sort?”

  “Oh.” I manage not to gulp again, although I’m tempted. “Nothing too rough.” I wonder if he’ll be disappointed. If he thought he’d have wild animal sex tonight but instead has to settle for boring and vanilla. “I mean for tonight... with a stranger...”

  “Got it.” He pulls off his underwear, and I gape at his erection with both nerves and excitement as he gets into the bed beside me. “I’m not usually into the rough stuff myself, but I try to be adaptable. I’d give it a go if that was what you wanted.”

  I laugh as he rolls over on top of me and kisses me.

  This feels good. Familiar. Secure. The way his mouth moves on mine and the weight of his body. Our skin is sticking together because we’re not wearing clothes now, but otherwise this isn’t that much different from what we were doing earlier. I breathe through my nose and relax into it, enjoying the skill of his hands and his mouth.

  I can do this. I’m going to do this. It’s not going to rip me apart or change the nature of who I am.

  It’s just a man. Moving inside my body.

  So far, everything with Richard has been really good. There’s no reason to assume that will change, just because we’re moving on to the main event.

  He kisses me for a while. Longer than I expected. I feel like I need it, so I don’t try to speed him along. But he finally lifts his head and meets my eyes.