Chasing Jane Page 6
“I know. I know I do that. I always have. It’s hard for me to…to go deep—even with you. But, as Rochester, I was able to do it because there was this layer of distance between us. But all of it was really me. None of it was a lie or an act. I might have started because I thought it would be funny, but it stopped being funny a long time ago.”
“So when…” I’m so overcome with emotion that I have to pause and restart. “So when were you planning to tell me.”
“I’ve been wanting to for weeks now, but then…” He gives a rueful huff of laughter. “But then I started to get jealous. Of Rochester. How ridiculous is that? But I started to worry that you were only interested in that one part of me and not all the rest. So I kept stalling. I knew if I told you, I’d have to tell you everything…about how I feel about you, I mean. And I was so scared that it would change everything between us. It was just too much to risk.”
“And…and how do you feel?” I’m holding my breath now. I have no idea why.
His face softens, and his eyes are very tender. “I told you last night. I love you—in every way a man can love a woman.”
“We were…” I pause to swallow hard. “We were always best friends.”
“I’m still your friend. I’m still your best friend.”
“How long have you…” I can’t quite finish the question.
He gives a little shrug. “I don’t know. I have no idea. For a while. For a few years. I’ve always been attracted to you, even though I wasn’t supposed to be. But eventually it just came together that I wanted even more from you. But you were always dating someone else, and then your mom…your mom died. So it never seemed like the right time to make a move.” He sighs. “Besides, if you didn’t feel the same way, then it was just too much to risk.”
“Yeah,” I breathe, understanding completely. More and more often, I’ve been getting little flickers of interest and feeling for him—but pushing them away immediately since they would unavoidably change things between us, potentially come between us.
We sit without speaking for a few minutes, the silence broken only by the sound of our breathing.
“So do you…” Nate’s raspy voice finally cuts through the quiet. “Do you understand?”
“Yeah. I understand.”
“Are you still mad at me?”
“A little.”
“Do you…” He clears his throat. “Do you think you might feel the same way I do?”
I’ve been staring down at my lap, but now I suddenly look up to see his face. “I love you.”
“I know you do.”
“I…I’m really attracted to you. I never admitted it before, but I am.”
His expression softens with something strong—maybe relief. “Good.”
“I really liked what we did last night.”
He leans forward slightly, his eyes holding mine. “Me too.”
“I’m scared.”
His lips are just a breath away from mine. “Me too.”
He presses his mouth against mine, and my lips soften and then open for him. The kiss deepens as he pushes forward, taking my head in both of his hands. Pleasure and excitement and absolute trust rush through my body with my blood.
Because this is Nate. And he’s everything he’s ever been to me. And so much more that I’ve never dreamed of.
After a few minutes, we end up lying on the bed together. He’s still kissing me gently, and I’m running my hands over his back. I love the feel of it—firm and smooth and lean and strong.
He’s smiling as he rolls off me. I’m on my back, and he’s on his side. I’m not really ready for the embrace to end, so I turn my head and lean forward so I can kiss him again.
He keeps smiling as he kisses me back.
“Stop smiling,” I say, for no good reason, since I feel like smiling too.
“I can’t.”
“You’re making me self-conscious.”
His hand has been resting on my hip, and now it slides up, stroking over my belly until he’s cupping one breast over my thin top. “I’m sure you’ll work through it.”
He’s confident now, and I realize it’s because he’s assured himself that our changing feelings aren’t going to end up tearing us apart.
That’s given me confidence too.
I gasp as he gently thumbs my nipple.
His smile widens, and his eyes crawl hungrily over my body and flushed face. “You have no idea how much and how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
“Touch my boob?”
He chokes on a laugh and leans forward to capture my lips again. Just before he does, he murmurs, “That and many more things.”
So then the kiss deepens—a lot. He slowly undresses me, and I pull back down his pants, and he’s hard and I’m pliant as he enters me again. This time, we’re as slow as we were urgent and rushed last night, and we rock together rhythmically, leisurely, and we’re kissing each other the whole time.
I don’t come this time. Our motion is too slow and soft, but nothing has ever felt better than being with Nate like this, touching him, stroking him, kissing him, giving myself to him completely, knowing he’s loving me with everything that’s in him to love.
It feels real this time—more real than it did last night.
I wrap my legs around him as his motion finally speeds up, becoming jerky and uneven. He’s panting against my neck as I feel his body tighten deliciously and then feel the tension release in waves that make him moan.
We hug each other for a long time afterward, and the last of my doubts fades away.
When he finally rolls off me, I’m smiling.
He slants me a questioningly look. “What?” he asks.
I shake my head, unable to stop smiling.
“You’re making me self-conscious now.”
“Good,” I say, giving him a soft, playful swat on the chest. “Now you know how I felt earlier.” After a moment then, I admit, “I’m just happy.”
He smiles then too, warmth and joy and understanding palpable in his eyes. “I’m glad to hear it. I plan to keep making you happy—for as long as you’ll let me.”
A shiver of delight overwhelms me, but I manage to say in an impressively dry voice, “But I don’t want you to think we’ll be spending the day in bed together.”
He arches his eyebrows. “We won’t?”
“No. We only have a few more days here, and we’ve got a lot to see. So today we’ll need to go to Chawton to see all the Jane Austen stuff there, and tomorrow we’ll go to Bath.”
He laughs, low and warm. “Sounds like a plan. But maybe you’ll let me change our reservations in Haworth and take one room instead of two.”
I think about this for a moment, the hesitation entirely for show. “I guess that would be all right—although I don’t know if the Janes would approve of such scandalous behavior.”
He pulls me into his arms again and says against my lips, “As long as this Jane approves, then I can live with it.”
“But this whole trip was about chasing the Janes.”
“Well, I chased my Jane. And I caught her.”
He didn’t really chase me. We both just stumbled along together until we landed in the same bed.
But I figure this isn’t the time to be literal about such things.
***
Later that day, after visiting the Jane Austen house and sites in the village of Chawton, we end up at The Vyne, a gorgeous 16th century country house and estate, where Jane Austen went to dances.
I’m having one of the best days of my life, as all the tangled pieces of my life come together with that perfect unity that only occurs occasionally. After we tour the house, we walk around the grounds, and I gush over the gardens and the ornamental lake.
Nate might not care as much about Jane Austen as I do, but I know he’s having a good time too.
My mom would have loved to be here, but she always adored Nate, and I know she would be happy that we’ve finally gotten together this way.
It’s getting late in the day when I stare at the beautifully kept grounds and impressive historic house. “I feel like I’m Elizabeth Bennet at Pemberley, when she first starts to see Mr. Darcy differently.”
Nate is holding my hand, and he squeezes it lightly, even as he gives me an exaggerated frown. “I hope you’re not going to compare me to Darcy.”
I laugh softly and stretch up to kiss him on the jaw. “I thought you wanted me to see you as a hero.”
“I guess. But can we find someone a little more appropriate than him?”
“Captain Wentworth?”
“God, no.”
I try to smother a giggle. “Mr. Knightley?”
He makes a face. “I guess that’s a little better.”
I wrap my arms around his neck. “How about…Rochester?”
He smiles and kisses me. “That will have to do.”
***
And that’s really about all there is to say about me and Nate and the long-awaited Jane journey. Except one last thing, mostly because they’re words I’ve always wanted to write.
Reader, I married him.
But that’s another story.
***
If you enjoyed Chasing Jane, you might check out the excerpt from another of my friends-to-lovers romances, Married for Christmas, that can be found on the following pages.
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Excerpt from Married for Christmas
The next day was Saturday, so they went shopping for rings.
“It’s too expensive,” Jessica said, eyeing the diamond solitaire in the case Daniel had just asked her about. This was the third jewelry store they’d visited. Jessica kept gravitating toward the cases with the cheaper rings, but Daniel refused to consider them.
“It’s an engagement ring. I’m not going to pull it out of a cereal box.” Daniel was starting to look a little grumpy since their shopping expedition hadn’t been very successful so far and they’d been looking now for over two hours.
“Yeah, but it’s not like there’s a huge romantic gesture to be made here.” The store was mostly empty except for a salesman who was discreetly standing out of their way since they’d told him they would let him know when they needed help. But Jessica kept her voice low instinctively. “We shouldn’t waste money on an expensive ring for me.”
He slanted her an annoyed look which she dutifully ignored.
She scanned the case. All the rings looked great to her. She’d had as many romantic daydreams as any other girl about the love of her life offering a ring like these. But that wasn’t what was happening here. It wasn’t even what she wanted. She wanted exactly what she’d told Daniel, and she wasn’t going to make up silly fantasies, even about him.
“Why don’t you just buy one online?” she suggested. “You can get a better deal that way anyway.”
“Would you stop that?” Daniel groaned. “I’m sorry, but I’m not going to buy an engagement ring for you without at least holding it first.”
It really was very sweet—that he was taking this so seriously even though he’d never thought about her as anything but a friend. Her heart melted just a little at the sight of his stubbly, aggravated face.
“I don’t even need an engagement ring,” she said.
He completely ignored that comment and kept peering at the rings in the case.
“What about this one?” he asked, gesturing toward another one in the expensive display.
She tried to tug him to another case—one with more reasonably priced options. “I don’t need a real diamond. What about one of these other stones? They basically look like diamonds, and they’re so much cheaper.”
He ignored her again. She could tell he was doing it on purpose.
Annoyed, she stepped back over and gave him a hard poke in the side. “I’m talking to you.”
“You’re not saying anything I’m going to take seriously. My wife is going to have an engagement ring, and it’s not going to be a piece of junk.”
She knew he was comfortable financially since he’d saved for years and didn’t splurge on anything except books. But preachers never made fortunes, and he’d had to use some of his savings while he was between jobs.
“But—” She broke off when she noticed a ring in the corner of the expensive case. It was white gold with a princess cut diamond in an engraved setting. It was the most beautiful ring she’d ever seen.
She stared at it for a few seconds before she jerked her eyes away. She pointed toward another ring that was obviously much cheaper. It wasn’t nearly as beautiful, but that simply didn’t matter. “I like this one.”
“You are the most frustrating woman on the face of the earth,” he gritted out.
“You just say that because I beat you at that math competition in fifth grade even though you were two years older.”
His face softened into a smile at the memory. “I’m still not sure that competition wasn’t rigged.”
She tried—very hard—not to laugh. Didn’t exactly succeed.
“But seriously,” she went on, “this ring here is perfectly nice.”
“Forget it. This is futile. I’ll get the ring myself, and you’ll be stuck with whatever I pick out.”
“Fine. Whatever you get me will be great, as long as it’s not too expensive.”
Daniel gave her a look as they left the store and a very confused salesman. She giggled and took his arm companionably since she knew his grumpiness was mostly for show.
The few times she’d seen Daniel genuinely angry, he’d been silent and ice cold. Just the thought of it gave her shivers.
Their normal camaraderie restored, they went to grab some coffee before they headed back to Daniel’s truck.
She absolutely didn’t care about the engagement ring. She was getting what she most wanted, and romance wasn’t high enough on the list to matter.
***
You can find out more about Married for Christmas here.
About Noelle Adams
Noelle handwrote her first romance novel in a spiral-bound notebook when she was twelve, and she hasn’t stopped writing since. She has lived in eight different states and currently resides in Virginia, where she writes full time, reads any book she can get her hands on, and offers tribute to a very spoiled cocker spaniel.
She loves travel, art, history, and ice cream. After spending far too many years of her life in graduate school, she has decided to reorient her priorities and focus on writing contemporary romances. For more information, please check out her website: noelle-adams.com.
Books by Noelle Adams
Beaufort Brides Series
Hired Bride
Substitute Bride
Accidental Bride
One Night Novellas
One Hot Night: Three Contemporary Romance Novellas
One Night with her Boss
One Night with her Roommate
One Night with the Best Man
Willow Park Series
Married for Christmas
A Baby for Easter
A Family for Christmas
Reconciled for Easter
Home for Christmas
Heirs of Damon Series
Seducing the Enemy
Playing the Playboy
Engaging the Boss
Stripping the Billionaire
Standalones
A Negotiated Marriage
Listed
Bittersweet
Missing
Revival
Holiday Heat
Salvation
Excavated
Overexposed
Road Tripping
The Protectors Series (co-written with Samantha Chase)
Duty Bound
Honor Bound
Forever Bound
Home Bound