Living with Her Ex-Boyfriend (The Loft Book 2) Read online

  He could hardly object to that statement. It was self-evidently true. He’d used the words himself multiple times.

  They would convince him now too.

  But for some reason they didn’t.

  “Why can’t it be?” He moved his hand to run down her loose hair and then trail his fingertips down the line of her spine. “I think you were liking it. Roll over for me. Let’s just try to see how it goes.” He paused. “Do you want to?”

  Her body moved of its own accord, nodding and then turning over onto her stomach.

  She didn’t know why she was doing it. She wanted to, but she’d spent most of her life not doing the things she wanted the most.

  But she hadn’t been happy that way.

  She’d never really been happy.

  And she finally wanted to change.

  Maybe that was why she rolled over when Steve asked her to.

  He gently pulled down the sheet, stroking her back and bottom. “You want me to try?” he asked hoarsely.

  Her head was turned so it faced him; her cheek was pressed against the pillow. Her heart was racing so intensely she could feel it all over her body. She nodded mutely.

  She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Suddenly washed with embarrassment, she turned her face in the opposite direction so Steve couldn’t see it.

  “No,” he said. “Turn back. I need to see your face.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I need to know you really want this. I don’t want to... go too far or pressure you into something you don’t want.” He was slightly stilted, like he was almost as uncertain as she was. “Please let me see you.”

  It comforted her. Gave her courage enough to turn her head back to face him.

  He brushed her hair back so it wouldn’t fall in her face.

  She was almost panting as he caressed her body. Her back. Her thighs. Then finally his hand returned to her bottom. Her hips were shifting slightly, and a deep pressure had tightened between her legs.

  She was waiting. Eager. Almost trembling to feel it again.

  “If you say the word stop,” Steve murmured, “I’m going to stop.”

  “Okay.”

  His hand was poised now on her butt, and his voice was very thick. “No pressure. No shame.”

  “Okay.”

  When his hand raised and lowered in a light smack, she jerked at the jolt of sensation, a breathless cry slipping out of her throat before she could stifle it.

  “Good?” Steve was rubbing the spot he’d just spanked.

  She nodded, the skin all over her body flushed with heat.

  He spanked her again, just a little harder, and she whimpered and fisted her hands in the sheet.

  “Tell me what you want, kitten.”

  “M—”

  “Tell me.”

  “More,” she managed to choke out.

  His hand rose and fell in another light slap, and it wasn’t just the sensations. Even the sound of it turned her on.

  “Again,” she whispered, aware of moisture leaking out between her legs from her intensifying arousal.

  He kept spanking her, and after each time she’d tell him, “Again.” The rhythm accelerated as she grew more and more eager, and soon she was raising her bottom to meet his hand and begging him loudly for more.

  He’d been reclining on his side as they began, but now he sat up. He paused for a moment, rubbing her sore butt gently. “Am I hurting you?”

  “No. I... I like it.” She was almost writhing now, unable to hold her body still. The sheet beneath her was wet. She hadn’t even known she was capable of being so aroused. She levered up her hips, raising them off the bed. “Please, I need more.”

  Steve stroked her for another minute and then started to explore between her legs with the fingers of his left hand.

  She gave a ragged cry when he rubbed her swollen clit.

  Then he penetrated her with two fingers and gave her another spank with his right hand.

  She almost sobbed as her inner muscles clamped down around his fingers.

  When he didn’t follow it up immediately, she mumbled, “Oh God, Steve. Please more. I need it from you so bad.”

  He spanked her until she was coming hard and long around his fingers, sobbing shamelessly and unable to stifle the loud sounds the way she usually did.

  If anyone was out in the hall, they’d have been able to hear her for sure, but even that knowledge couldn’t control her loudness.

  When she’d reached the peak of pleasure, Steve changed his spanks to caresses. He rubbed her bottom and started to slowly move his fingers inside her, pushing against the lingering flutters from her orgasm.

  His hand had to be soaked. Moisture ran all down her inner thighs. The skin of her ass was raw and so hot. Her throat was sore from her uninhibited cries.

  She collapsed onto the bed, lowering her hips and falling into a sated heap.

  Steve was still stroking her gently.

  It took a long time for her to catch her breath and open her eyes. When she did, she saw that Steve was gazing at her with a heated tenderness that took her breath away.

  “I think you might have liked that,” he murmured, a bit of dryness in his tone.

  She giggled. Her body was still throbbing deliciously.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you liked that before?”

  Swallowing hard, she admitted, “I didn’t... I didn’t know. It doesn’t seem like... me.”

  “Maybe it is. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why are you so embarrassed about it?”

  “I’m not.”

  Steve frowned. “Kitten.”

  “I mean, I was. I just didn’t know I would want something like that. But I know there’s nothing wrong with it. It just doesn’t feel like... us.”

  “You said that before.” He paused. “I’ve said that before. I remember myself saying it, and I can’t believe I would have said something so stupid. Because this seemed pretty damn us to me.” He was visibly aroused again, his erection thick and heavy and his body slightly tensed. He rolled over onto his back. “It’s as us as I’ve ever known. Climb over here on top of me, kitten. I’ll show you how us it was.”

  She moved immediately, straddling his hips. He pulled her down into a slow, deep kiss, and she rubbed her body against him, trapping his erection between them.

  His hand slid down to her still tingling bottom, and he held her there as he kissed her, the slight ache reminding her of the spanking she’d just gotten from him. After a while, he broke the kiss. “I want you to ride me now.”

  Her body clenched immediately, which was crazy after the powerful orgasm she’d just had. She lifted her hips, lined him up at her entrance, and then sank down to take him into her body.

  Her channel was tight, but it stretched for him, and she moaned in pleasure at the fullness.

  “That’s right, kitten.” Steve said. “You feel so good. This is how it’s supposed to be. You and me. Just like this.”

  She arched her back and rolled her hips. He was still gripping handfuls of her bottom, and it ached deliciously.

  “Ride me hard,” he told her. “Show me how much you want me.”

  She wanted him so much, and she didn’t even care if he knew how much at the moment. She built up a fast rhythm over him, causing her breasts to bounce and her hair to fly wildly into her face. She was grunting shamelessly as another orgasm coiled tight.

  Steve started bucking up into her, and it made everything feel even better. Then he fumbled around until he found her aching, swollen clit and started to rub it. Her body froze in a deep arch as her climax broke.

  “Fuck, yes, kitten. Oh fuck.” He came too on the last word, pushing up into her in a series of clumsy jerks and then releasing himself inside her.

  He was as winded as she was as they came down. He pulled her down on top of him and tightened his arms around her in a hug.

  They lay togeth
er like that for a long time.

  She couldn’t make her mind work appropriately. It was too filled with pleasure and confusion and satisfaction and self-consciousness. Her bottom still ached but not in a bad way. It was a visceral reminder of how she’d had the kind of sex she’d always wanted, that she’d always assumed she would never have.

  With Steve.

  Who wasn’t like that at all.

  He was a sweet, old-fashioned guy—one who wanted a traditional wife and family and a vanilla sex life—and he’d just spanked her because she’d wanted it.

  Her stomach twisted at the realization.

  Had he just done it for her?

  “I’m a mess,” she said after a minute or two. Her voice was painfully hoarse from all the screaming she’d done. “I need to clean up.”

  “Okay.” He was stroking her hair.

  “I don’t think I can move.”

  “Then don’t. Don’t move yet.”

  As soon as she got up, she’d have to start thinking, assessing what happened and what it meant. She wasn’t sure she’d like her conclusions, so she wasn’t in any hurry to get there.

  “Okay,” she mumbled, her mouth against this shoulder. “I won’t move yet.”

  “Me either.”

  MICHELLE MANAGED TO make it fifteen minutes, but eventually the discomfort and the need to pee pushed her into motion.

  She went to the bathroom, washed up, and cringed when she caught a glimpse of her still-red butt in the mirror. Then she put on a pair of pajamas and brushed her teeth before going back out into the bedroom.

  Steve was still in bed, but his eyes were open, and he was watching her.

  She walked over to the bed.

  “Do you want me to go back to my own room?” he asked.

  She hesitated just a moment. Part of her would be more comfortable being alone, but she didn’t have the heart to send Steve away. “You don’t have to. You can sleep here tonight if you want.”

  Something relaxed on his face. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to get water. You want some?”

  “Yeah. Thanks.” He was getting up now and heading to the bathroom himself.

  He was still in there when Michelle returned, and she didn’t want to sleep on a sheet that was so wet. One spot she could handle, but this was in several places. So she pulled off the comforter and stripped off the sheets. She was making the bed with clean sheets when Steve returned, so he helped her.

  When the bed was made, they climbed in, and she didn’t object when Steve pulled her over against him.

  After a minute, he asked, “Do you want to talk?”

  They needed to, but she didn’t have the energy to get into something so complicated right now. “We can talk in the morning.”

  He brushed a kiss into her hair. “Okay.”

  MICHELLE DIDN’T WAKE up until almost nine the following morning, and Steve was still sound asleep when she rolled over and opened her eyes.

  The evening before came flooding back as soon as she saw his big, sprawled body beside her. She got up to go to the bathroom, and Steve was awake when she returned to the bed.

  Their eyes met, and she sat down on the side of the mattress.

  He pushed himself up into a sitting position and moved over to drop his legs over the side of the bed beside her. “How do you feel?” he asked.

  She swallowed and thought before she answered. “I don’t know.”

  “I don’t think... I don’t think it’s over between us.”

  Her heart flipped and then tightened at the words. She had no idea whether she was excited or terrified. “I don’t know.”

  “Last night was really good.”

  “Yes.”

  “But not good enough for you to want to try again with me?”

  “I said I don’t know. It’s not just about sex, you know.”

  “I know.” He let out a deep breath. “Maybe we should just play it by ear, see how it goes. We don’t have to make absolute decisions right now. We can just... see.”

  She turned to look at him and saw that his blue eyes were uncertain but also tender.

  He cared so much about her—at least about the woman he thought she was. And he hadn’t been picking on her lately, pushing her, needling at her all the time the way he had before.

  She felt better about herself now than she had in the past.

  Maybe things could be different.

  Maybe she could be different.

  That was what she wanted. She could see it very clearly now. Last night had clarified something in her mind, something that wasn’t about Steve.

  She could change. She could take risks. She didn’t have to be the girl always embarrassed about sex, too inhibited to try something new. She could be someone else.

  No matter what anyone else expected her to do.

  It didn’t have to just happen in her fantasies. She could be who she wanted in real life.

  It was such a big conclusion and had so many different potential consequences that she could hardly process it in her brain at the same time.

  She needed time, and that was what Steve was giving her.

  “Okay,” she said. “No big decisions right now. Let’s just wait and see.”

  STEVE WASN’T ENTIRELY happy with the way he’d left things with Michelle, but it was the only option he could think of to stop something worse from happening.

  He’d seen a rejection in her eyes. She was going to end things with him again, no matter what had happened between them last night. And he couldn’t let that happen. Not if he could help it.

  Stalling on the final conclusion at least gave him a chance.

  He wasn’t going to let her go when he’d known from the first moment he laid eyes on her—sitting at that table with her laptop in the food court—that she was for him, he was for her. They belonged together.

  None of the reasons she’d ever given him for their breakup made sense to him. None of them were logical. Maybe she was scared, but that wasn’t reason enough not to be together.

  If she needed time, he would give her time.

  But he wasn’t giving her up.

  Since it was a Sunday, neither of them had plans for the day. They hung out in the apartment that morning with Jill and Lucas, and then in the afternoon Steve went to work out with Lucas while Michelle went with Jill and Chloe down to Tea for Two. Then Michelle needed to do some work.

  So by the end of the day, Steve hadn’t been alone with her at all.

  Steve could think of a lot of very fun things he and Michelle could be doing that evening, but instead Michelle wanted to do laundry as they watched TV. She was going through her normal routine, as if the sex they’d had last night hadn’t thrown her whole world into a flurry the way it had him.

  Jill and Lucas went into the bedroom around ten, and Steve thought they had a pretty good idea for what should be happening now. Michelle didn’t appear to have sex on her mind though. She just gave him a bland smile as she went to get her last load of laundry out of the dryer.

  Steve followed her to the laundry closet, and his whole body clenched in interest when he saw her bending down over her laundry basket.

  She wore her normal outfit of leggings and a sweatshirt, but her top was riding up because of her position, and her firm, round ass was delectably displayed, covered only by a thin, stretched layer of black fabric. Her slim legs seemed to go on forever, and he suspected she might not be wearing a bra today.

  She’d been going without one a lot lately.

  Unable to resist, he walked over and reached out to squeeze her firm little ass.

  She squealed and straightened up. “Damn it, Steve. You scared me.”

  “Sorry.” He was smiling and wasn’t feeling particularly sorry for his gesture. “Couldn’t resist.”

  “Well, next time, try harder.” She didn’t look angry. She was flushed and slightly breathless.

  He wondered if she was thinking about sex the way he was. When she picke
d up her laundry basket, he walked with her into her bedroom, closing the door behind him.

  “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “What do you mean? I’m coming into your bedroom. What do you think?”

  “But why?”

  “Why do you think?” He moved closer to her, reaching up to cup her cheek. “It’s almost time for bed.”

  Her eyes were wide and filled with something he couldn’t quite identify. “And you think we’re going to do something in bed tonight?”

  “Don’t you want to?”

  He heard her breath hitch.

  “That’s what I thought,” he murmured. “We’re both thinking it, so there’s no sense in pretending we’re not. I can spank you again if you want.”

  He felt strange saying the words—he’d never thought he would ever say anything like it—but it filled him with heat and excitement and a kind of tenderness he wasn’t sure how to identify.

  Like it was his job to take care of Michelle, give her what she wanted.

  No matter what she wanted.

  He saw her jerk slightly, and her cheeks flushed a dark red.

  She liked the idea. He knew it. He could see it in her face.

  She wanted him to spank her again.

  She wanted him as much as he wanted her.

  There was something powerful between them, and there always had been. It hadn’t gone away just because they’d broken up.

  “I don’t...” Her voice broke, and she had to clear her throat. “I don’t know.”

  “So talk to me. We’ll figure it out.”

  “I am talking to you.”

  “You’re not telling me everything. You’re holding back.”

  Her face twisted in obvious annoyance. “I’m telling you what I can. Don’t keep pushing.”

  “This is too important not to push, kitten. You think I’m not going to fight for what both of us want?”

  “Even if fighting for it means you’re fighting me?”

  He groaned in frustration at the edge to her tone. “Damn it, it’s just a figure of speech.”

  “I know it’s a figure of speech, but you wanted to have sex, you said we could make it work this time, and now you’re pressuring me again.”

  “I’d never pressure you to have sex!”