Loved None But You (Pemberley House, #3) Read online

“It’s not out of date,” she said when it looked like he was checking the date.

  “Good.” He lifted himself up to unfasten his trousers before he ripped open the packet. Then his eyes slanted over to her face. “Just how many emergencies of this kind do you have?”

  She frowned. “My emergencies are none of your business.”

  For just a moment, she saw a glint of what might have been resistance in his eyes. Then he nodded with a half smile. “Fair enough.”

  She watched him greedily as he pulled down his pants and rolled on the condom. She thought she remembered what he looked like, but there seemed more of him than there should be. Like every part of him was bigger and more important than it should be.

  When he settled himself between her legs again, she bent her knees up around his hips. Then before she could process what was happening and what it meant, he was sinking inside her. Big and full and tight and Robert.

  She gasped and dropped her head back at the feel of him inside her.

  “Okay?” he asked, even more of a rasp in his voice now.

  “Yeah. Yeah, good.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and relaxed around the penetration. “Oh God. You feel good.”

  He made an approving sound in his throat and moved his hips in a slow thrust. She gave an embarrassing groan in response and another when he did it again. “Just good?”

  She choked on a laugh. “Not that again. Nothing in the universe has ever felt better than you fucking me like this. Does that satisfy your ego?”

  He chuckled too, his body shaking in a way that stimulated nerve endings all over her body. “That’ll do.”

  She adjusted her legs, trying to dig her heels into the cushion of the chaise for better leverage, and she started to move with his rhythm. Soon both of them were making loud, helpless sounds of effort and pleasure, and they intensified as the speed of their bodies accelerated.

  He wasn’t kissing her now, but his face was only a few inches away. She could see the dark stubble on his jaw. She could feel his shallow breath on her hot skin. She could read the fierce, hungry look in his blue eyes.

  And she wanted all of it.

  She needed all of it.

  She didn’t want anything but this.

  Eventually she felt his body tighten and his face start to twist. He was going to come soon, and she wanted to come before he did. So she squeezed a hand down between their bodies so she could rub her clit, and it only took a minute for all her aching tension to shatter.

  She came around him, shaking and sobbing out wordless sounds. Then he was coming too, choking on words that didn’t get said. She felt the spasms run through his body. Felt him jerking through the last of his climax.

  Then the weight of his body fell down on top of her, and she wrapped her arms around him.

  Her mind was still too fuzzy, but now that the urgency of lust had been satisfied, she was starting to think more clearly.

  She’d just had sex with Robert.

  Sex. With Robert.

  Which was the last thing she ever should have done.

  HAVING SEX WITH ANNE was the last thing Robert should have done.

  Maybe he’d tried to tell himself that one hot round of sex would work the last of her memory out of his system. He wasn’t actually so stupid as to believe such a thing ever worked.

  Having sex with her would just make him want her more.

  And here he was.

  He’d just had the best sex of his life. Outside in the dark on a chaise. With Anne.

  Whom he’d been trying so long to get over.

  He’d fucked himself, more completely than he’d just fucked her.

  He felt hot and sore and uncomfortable, sweating beneath his clothes and with a messy condom to deal with. He stifled a groan as he moved off her and swung his legs over the side of the chaise so he could sit up.

  His leg was killing him. Evidently even sex was enough to aggravate his injury.

  Anne pushed her skirt down a little but otherwise stayed where she was.

  He dealt with the condom and then was stuck with it after he tied it off. He couldn’t just toss it off into the dark, although it was tempting. He’d have to hold on to it until he found a trash can.

  What the hell was he supposed to say to Anne right now?

  There was a lot of landscape lighting around the seating grouping, so he could see her face clearly despite the dark night. She was watching him.

  Waiting.

  And he was sitting on the side of the chaise like an idiot, holding a used condom.

  “Is your leg okay?” she asked softly. “Does it hurt?”

  She must be able to see the pain on his face. “A little. It’s not that bad.”

  She probably knew he was lying, but she didn’t try to argue.

  Robert tried to control his expression. Tried to stretch his leg out into a more comfortable position. Then he blurted out the only thing he could think of. “This was a mistake.”

  There was only the slightest of pauses before Anne said quietly, “I know.”

  For some reason her words hurt him. That she agreed with what he’d said. That she believed the amazing sex they’d just had had been a mistake.

  He recognized the hypocrisy in his reaction, but it hurt him anyway. “I was drunk.”

  “Me too.” She cleared her throat and winced as she straightened up, as if she was as sore as he was. “We both had way too much champagne.”

  “So.”

  “So.” She was still watching him. Still waiting.

  He needed to get out of there. She was making him want to say things, do things, that he could never do.

  Things like kiss her again. Hold her in his arms.

  Admit that he wanted them to have a second chance.

  He knew better than that, no matter what his stupid heart might dream of. So he said, “It can’t happen again.”

  “I know. I don’t want it to happen again. But just so we’re clear, you’re the one who initiated things, so don’t you dare try to blame me for what just happened.”

  “I don’t blame you.” He stood up. “I blame myself.”

  He wanted to walk away, but it was dark out there, and he couldn’t leave her alone. So he waited until she stood up and smoothed out her dress.

  Then he walked back to the main house with her.

  They parted ways in the entryway. She went down the hall, and he went up the stairs.

  It was like they were strangers again.

  Like the sex had never happened.

  And Robert hated it.

  But he would hate falling in love with her again even more.

  THREE WEEKS LATER, Anne was trying to be mature and reasonable about her night with Robert but not having much success with the attempt.

  Maybe some people could have sex with an ex and brush it off like it was no big deal, but she wasn’t one of those people. She kept replaying the night in her mind, kept wondering what Robert was thinking now, kept imagining scenarios where it might happen again.

  All in all, it didn’t make for a peaceful state of mind, no matter how rigorously she tried to focus on her work. She was getting new campaigns coming in every day or two, so many that she was scheduling new clients for next month or the month after. She’d had three of her initial clients ask for regular monthly plans, and she was hopeful for some more of them who were having good success with the work she’d been doing for them.

  She should be thrilled. Delighted.

  And she was.

  It was the first time in ages where she’d felt work fulfillment. But thoughts of Robert kept distracting her, and it was becoming very annoying.

  And it was only going to get worse because she was going on a weekend trip tomorrow with her friends. A trip where Robert would be there too.

  She’d managed to avoid being in close quarters with Robert for the past three weeks, ever since they’d had sex after the wedding. She knew what had happened had been a slipup—one that would make it
even harder to move on from Robert—and she was determined not to repeat the mistake.

  She hadn’t managed to keep her mind under control, but she’d at least managed to put physical distance between them. So why on earth had she agreed to go on this trip to Virginia Beach?

  Liz and Em had hounded her until she’d said yes.

  Maybe Robert had been right about her. She didn’t really have a backbone after all.

  Even when she wanted to, she couldn’t always stand up to pressure.

  Or maybe part of her wanted to spend time with Robert again.

  She was packing a suitcase in her bedroom when there was a tap on her half-open door. She turned around to see Mary in the doorway. “Do you have to leave?” Mary asked in a familiar whiney tone.

  “Yes. It’s just the weekend.”

  “But I hate weekends. I don’t have work, and Chuck is always off at the gym.”

  “Maybe you should tell him you want him to spend the weekend with you.”

  “He never listens to me.”

  “Maybe he would if you tell him seriously that it bothers you.”

  “I tell him all the time.”

  Anne understood the problem between her sister and brother-in-law. Mary complained all the time. About everything. Big and small. And her whines about being left alone were mingled in with all her other grumbles until it was impossible not to just block them out.

  She was mostly convinced that Chuck wasn’t unfaithful—either emotionally or physically. He wasn’t cheating on Mary. He just needed a break from the constant whining.

  “Maybe you two could sit down and have a serious conversation. Not just list all your grievances but really try to listen to each other and explain how both of you feel. I bet he’d do that if you ask him. Don’t just burst out with all your problems. Sit down and have a conversation about it.” Anne kept her voice light, calm. For a moment she was hopeful that Mary might be listening.

  Then Mary scowled. “You try to have serious conversations with someone who refuses to spend any time with you.”

  Anne shook her head and folded a pair of shorts to put in her case. “Okay. Just a suggestion.”

  “What am I supposed to do about eating while you’re gone?”

  “I made some stuff and put it in the refrigerator. You can just warm it up. Or there’s plenty of stuff for sandwiches. Or you could get takeout. Or, as crazy as it sounds, you could try to cook something for yourself.”

  Mary made a face. “I’ve got way too much going on in my life for cooking. And I can’t believe you’re deserting me for a whole weekend. Why do you have to leave at all?”

  “I told you before. All my friends are going, and they wanted me to go too.”

  “But why do you want to?”

  Anne turned around and raised her eyebrows. “Robert’s friend owns a house right on the beach. Who would turn down a free weekend on the beach?”

  “You’re not getting back together with Robert, are you?”

  “No. I’m not. There’s nothing between us. But he’s the brother of my best friend’s fiancé. We’re going to occasionally do things together in groups.”

  “Good, because Dad says—”

  “I really don’t give a fuck about what Dad says.” Anne snapped out the words before she could stop herself, surprised by her own vehemence. She hadn’t realized she was feeling so frustrated. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound that way. I just meant I’m an adult. I can hang out with my friends and go on a weekend trip without it being dissected and second-guessed constantly by my family.”

  Mary stared at her for a long moment, something new in her eyes. Then she said softly, “You’ve changed. Did you know that?”

  It hit Anne then that her sister was speaking the truth.

  Anne had changed.

  A lot.

  Even just in the three months since she’d resigned from her old job.

  The knowledge filled with her something deep and strong. Pride. Pleasure. Satisfaction.

  All she said was, “I’m trying.”

  THE FOLLOWING DAY, Anne was regretting her decision to join her friends on Robert’s weekend trip to the beach.

  A friend of his had a large beach house on Virginia Beach, and he’d invited Robert for the weekend and any friends he wanted to take to come with him. The house had eight rooms, so there was plenty of room for anyone who wanted to come. Vince and Liz were coming. So were Jane and Charlie. Ward had volunteered to stay with Em’s housebound father since he had work to do that weekend anyway, so Em was able to come. So was Riot. Anne had thought it was going to be fine since the group wouldn’t all be couples. She had no good reason to refuse a free weekend at a nice beach house, especially since all her friends would be there.

  But she was all riled up emotionally about being in close quarters with Robert. More so than she’d expected.

  She was clearly not the kind of person who could do casual sex. She would always get attached, and she was already far too attached to Robert, despite all the changes in him since college.

  Being with him that night had made her want him even more, in spite of all the evidence of his feeling nothing for her but resentment.

  So she’d decided it was best to just avoid him. His leg was improving, so hopefully he’d go back to work soon. Leave Pemberley House. Leave the country. Put miles and miles of distance between them.

  It was better that way.

  She’d made sure she was in a different car from Robert on the drive across the state, so that had gone fine. But once they’d arrived, they all started hanging out together—in the pool, at the beach, in the big living room of the house.

  And Robert was always right there, looking big and handsome and sober and sexy.

  It was highly disturbing.

  He was hanging out with Riot a lot again, and she tried to tell herself that was a good thing. Riot had improved a lot in the past year. She was still immature but not impossibly so. Maybe she and Robert would be happy together.

  She tried to believe it.

  If she thought about it too much, she’d know there was no hope in believing Robert belonged with Riot, so she did what she could to distract herself.

  In the evening of the day they arrived, Robert’s friend came over to the house to hang out, and he brought a friend named Brian.

  Brian was cute in a quiet, geeky way, and he kept himself apart from everyone else as they grilled outside and hung out by the pool. Anne liked the looks of him. He looked kind, and that was always the most important thing to her.

  She’d been hanging out with Em, but eventually she couldn’t stand the sight of Robert and Riot giggling over the grill as he worked on the burgers. So she walked to the other side of the pool deck to where Brian was sitting alone.

  “Hey,” she said with a smile, sitting down in the chair beside him. “Why are you all by yourself over here?”

  “I’m not really much on crowds,” he said, returning her smile with a small one of his own.

  “Me either, if you want to know the truth. Especially when I don’t know a lot of people.”

  “You seem to know everyone here.”

  “I do. I’ve known most of them for years. Most of us are really close.” She glanced over, realizing it was true. She wasn’t close with Riot, and she wasn’t close to Robert anymore. But everyone else was closer to her than her own family. “Why did you let Kurt drag you over here today if you weren’t in the mood for a crowd?”

  Brian gave her a sheepish smile. “I got tired of him always nagging me about getting out of the house.” At her questioning look, he added, “I just went through a bad breakup. He thinks I’m sulking.”

  “Oh. I’m sorry. I know how that feels. You just want to cocoon yourself for a while. I think it’s perfectly natural.”

  “I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.” He glanced around the room and then shuddered and turned back toward her. “Too many people for me. I’d rather hang out with a book.”
r />   “Oh really? What do you like to read?”

  He replied, relaxing and eventually getting into the conversation. They talked about books and then about his ex-girlfriend, whom he’d evidently loved devotedly. Anne enjoyed Brian’s company and for a few minutes actually forgot that Robert was still in the same room and that she’d had sex with him three weeks ago but he still would never be hers.

  ROBERT WAS TRYING TO be interested in what Riot was saying, but he’d spent most of the day with her and he was getting bored and annoyed.

  She wasn’t a horrible person. He just had nothing in common with her, and he found her endless prattling exasperating.

  Maybe he wasn’t a nice guy. He definitely wasn’t a patient guy. And if he had to sit beside Riot and pretend to listen to her any longer, he was literally going to start screaming.

  It didn’t help that Anne had been talking to some guy for almost an hour now, smiling at him and chatting in a way that proved she really liked him.

  He really didn’t need to see that.

  He’d made a mistake in having sex with her, and then he’d made another mistake in how he’d acted afterward. He should have been less abrupt, more casual. If he’d been able to put an end to it in a way that felt less painful on both sides, he was sure he’d feel better about it now.

  But the whole thing was painful—the whole awkward conversation after that amazing sex. And she’d been avoiding him ever since. He should be relieved, but he wasn’t.

  And now she might have a thing for another guy.

  She certainly wouldn’t stop talking to him.

  He couldn’t watch anymore. And he couldn’t listen to Riot. He stood up without warning, causing Riot to gasp and Vince and Liz, who were sitting nearby, to raise their eyebrows.

  “Sorry,” he said, searching for a legitimate excuse for his abrupt departure. “My leg is hurting, so I need to walk and stretch it out a little.”

  “Oh, I can come with you,” Riot volunteered, starting to rise.

  “That’s okay,” Robert replied quickly. “I’m good on my own. You stay here and take it easy.”

  He walked away before she could argue.